Bass Clarinetist:
“Thrice the squeaky reed hath split.”
B-flat Clarinetist:
“Thrice and once the barrel’s stuck.”
E-flat Clarinetist:
“Ligature slides:—’tis time, ’tis time.”
Bass Clarinetist:
“Round about the bin we go;
In the broken reeds we throw.
Reed that cracked in concert loud,
Chipped and warped, no longer proud,
Too much pressure, bite too tight,
Toss thee now out of my sight!”
All:
“Double, double, toil and trouble;
Bad reeds crack and tempers bubble.”
B-flat Clarinetist:
“Tip too thin and heart too hard,
Grain that splits and strength too scarred;
Peel of cane and thread of string,
Ligature that lost its cling,
For a charm of tonal sorrow,
Toss thee now, and try tomorrow.”
All:
“Double, double, toil and trouble;
Bad reeds crack and tempers bubble.”
E-flat Clarinetist:
“Reed too soft and reed too thick,
One that wore out far too quick,
Mouthpiece chipped from careless drop,
Time to make this nonsense stop!
Add the reed that squealed on stage,
Fuel the clarinetist’s rage,
Toss it in, no time to grieve,
For the magic new reeds weave!”
All:
“Double, double, toil and trouble;
Bad reeds crack and tempers bubble.”
B-flat Clarinetist:
“Wet them well, then toss them out,
New reeds grow, and end the drought.”
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